at′ə to̵̅o̅d′

The dictionary definition of attitude:

1. the position or posture assumed by the body in connection with an action, feeling, mood, etc.: to kneel in an attitude of prayer
2. a manner of acting, feeling, or thinking that shows one's disposition, opinion, etc.: a friendly attitude
3. one's disposition, opinion, mental set, etc.
4. Aeron. the position of an aircraft or spacecraft in relation to a given line or plane, as the horizon.

I heard someone talk about the aeronautical definition of attitude in relation to the way we live our lives. The pilot must make sure the plane is aligned correctly with the horizon when preparing to land or it can end very badly. Please forgive my lack of pilot-speak, but I think there's something to the comparison. If I am the pilot and come in too low for the landing, bad things happen. It puts me and the passengers on the plane at risk. What I do, the attitude I have, doesn't just affect me, it affects everyone around me. Isn't that like being around someone who is negative? Whether they are critical, impatient, rude, short-tempered, discouraging, apathetic, self-centered, arrogant or just a regular old Debbie (or Davey) Downer, it still brings us down with them. We are the passengers on the plane with the bad attitude.
If we have a positive attitude, encourage others, see the bright side of things, show kindness and respect, find joy in the simple things like a child's smile or the sun shining after days of rain, others see it and it we can bring them up with us.

I have spent time with people who have the ability to suck the happiness out of any situation. An uplifting speech, a sermon, a keynote presentation, a beautiful musical performance or just a fun activity? The wrong attitude, coming in too low on the plane, means they see something wrong, something to complain about or something they would've done better if they were in charge of the situation. Not only is it criticism, but it also seems arrogant to me.

I don't spend time with people like that if I can avoid it. If I can't avoid it, I try to pilot the plane to the ideal attitude. If I don't go along with that criticism, that arrogance they share as they belittle the efforts of others or see the sunshine as too bright, too hot, etc.,  I have the power to maintain my better attitude. I may need to circle around and try my approach again, but I have that ability. I am the pilot. Every single day I aim to keep the horizon in alignment and make sure the attitude I share with others is what it should be.

Today I witnessed both ends of the attitude spectrum. I saw people who have so many things to be thankful for act as if they have never seen the sunshine. Later, I saw my children playing in a fountain. They were running and playing in the water with such joy on their faces that I was nearly brought to tears. The simple act of playing in water, the unexpected shooting up of the water, the challenge of running between the sprays without getting wet, the simplicity of the time spent together filled with carefree enjoyment. They showed me how we can change our attitudes and how those same attitudes rub off on those around us by sharing that joy with me.

As cliched as it sounds, I can take control of my attitude and hope others stay on the plane and soar with me. We may need to adjust our approach, we may need to fly in a holding pattern from time to time, but it is possible to have that positive attitude and share it with you.

(this self-help moment brought to you by all those power of positive thinking infomercials that run in the middle of the night)

What am I doing?

Change is normal. It happens whether we want it to or not. In the past several years I (like most of us) have faced changes and challenges. It has been said that adversity doesn't build character, it reveals character. I may not like the adversity I have faced, but I know I am more confident, stronger and better equipped to face the future than I was 5 years ago. I won't bore you with the country song that my life has become. If you know me you know it by heart. If you don't know me, it will suffice to say I have plenty of material to take to Nashville and write an entire album for some country star.

In addition to the challenges I've faced, I have found more love and kindness and support than I ever hoped to find. I have reconnected with friends from years past, and find that we pick up where we left off, but it is better now. We are more mature, more comfortable with who we are and less worried what others think of us. We take one another at face value, we don't criticize or judge one another (unless we need some tough love). We help each other up and back on the path we are walking together. My friends and loved ones from recent years have watched me take one of the most difficult steps of my life and, as much as it hurt each of us, have wished me well and helped me get this new adventure under way. I know it sounds cheesy, but I can't imagine the last months and years without such amazing people in my life. I am walking this new path, knowing you are with me and ready to pull me back on the path when I wander off, just as I am there to help you back on when the way is unclear.

Thank you for sticking with me - and reading this blog. I promise, next time I will not sound like a Hallmark store exploded.